Moment of Truth

There are profound moments in our lives when clarity and realization wander, hand and hand (or even jump feet first), into our consciousness, causing our perception of reality to shift. Oprah calls it a “light bulb moment.” I call it a moment of truth—a moment when we know our life must change.

One such moment came on August 8^th, 2008. I was sitting in a chapel watching my best girlfriend marry the man of her dreams. I’d been with Chambrey through her divorce, single life and then courtship with Shaun. I saw how much she loved this man, and how happy he made her. He was such a great guy, and their joy was so evident—I could both see and feel it…which made me all-the-more aware of the lack of this emotion (and many others) in my own marriage. I won’t go into further detail on this matter other than to say, it was a moment of truth—a moment when I knew my life must change. I also knew that if it was going to change, I would have to be the one to change it. It took some time, but eventually, I filed for divorce.

Now, why am I telling you this? Because it’s incredible the difference one year can make!

If you haven’t already, now would be a good time to catch up on mine and Paco’s love story by reading about HOW WE FIRST MET IN 1981, and then, HOW WE WERE REUNITED. Technology today is quite amazing! Between Facebook, instant messaging, webcams, and 2-cents-a-minute international phone cards, we were able to rekindle our love for each other, and watch it blossom into one of the most powerful forces either of us has ever felt.

Before I knew it, my flight to Lima was booked for July 28, 2009. Our plan was to get married on August 1, 2009—twenty-eight years to the day from our first kiss (um, yeah…we’re both sentimental). But I’d only have 23 days in Peru before I’d have to head home to my children and my job. We’d start the visa application process as soon as I got home, and voila—they’d be here! Three months tops, right? (HA!)

All along I’d felt so confident of every step Paco and I had made up to this point. But it wasn’t until I was about 30 minutes from landing in Lima that my stomach started churning and my insecurities began to resurface—not so much about the marriage plans that were already set in motion. I’d never felt more sure of my love for another person in my life. No, it was much more basic than that. Be brave and think “junior-high” for a minute, and you’ll be back in my mind just before landing. Will he think I’m cute? Will he LIKE me? Yeah, I know—lame. What can I say? I was nervous!

After landing in Lima I wound through various lines to get through customs and then to get my luggage—it’s hard to even recall the entire process because I was a bundle of nerves. I’m sure the people around me must have thought I was some druggie the way I was popping Altoids, but hey—a girl’s gotta have fresh breath, right?

So I got the green light and was able to pass through security and on to the gate and my awaiting fiancé whom I hadn’t seen face to face in 28 years. No pressure. (EEEEEEEEEK!) I’m sure I popped another Altoid at this point—maybe ten.

If I haven’t mentioned previously, I live in Houston, a culturally diverse atmosphere, so I’m used to being surrounded by people of every color, shape, size, sound, etc. But I’d forgotten what it’s like to be the only pale-skinned blonde in the room; the little white marshmallow in the cup of hot cocoa; the “gringa.” As I passed through the curtained gate, I literally approached a sea of dark hair. How was this marshmallow supposed to find her fiancé? And then I heard his voice…

“Tami! Tami!”

I could hear him, but there were literally hundreds of people crammed behind the roped-off gate I was about to pass. Once through, I was sure I’d be swallowed if I wasn’t holding his hand.

“Tami! Over here!”

And that was when I saw him—handsome, smiling, and bearing a single red rose and a balloon; my Peruvian Knight in Shining Armor; the love of my life; the other half of my heart and soul; my past, present and future. My Paco!

I’m not sure how I looked to him at that moment (bug-eyed, albino opossum about to be smashed by on-coming car comes to mind) but when I saw his face, looked into those brown eyes, and then reached out and clasped his hand, I instantly knew that all was right in my world. I was home, because home was anywhere in this world that we were together. We exchanged a brief kiss (did I mention that we were surrounded by hundreds of people), and then headed out to the car.

Paco’s dad had driven him to the airport and we were supposed to meet him out in the parking lot. But when we got out to the car, he wasn’t there yet. This was our first moment alone together—ironically, the last place Paco had kissed me 28 years earlier. And as things come full circle, I suppose it was fitting that this was the place he would kiss me—really kiss me—28 years later. And, boy howdy, did he ever!

The next week and a half was a whirlwind of wedding preparations and getting to know Paco’s daughters and family. Due to bureaucratic issues (surely a sign of the year to come), our wedding was pushed back a week. We weren’t going to be married on the anniversary of our first kiss, but we were rolling with the punches, and just so happy to finally be together. Paco’s daughters instantly captured my heart, and as I saw him interact with them, I really knew he was the man of my dreams. He’s truly the best father in the world!

Finally the day of our wedding arrived—Auguts 8^th, 2009. I have never felt more at peace or more sure in my life than at that moment as we stood before the judge and Paco’s family and vowed our commitment and love to each other. This was the beginning of the rest of our lives together, and next to the births of my children, this was by far the happiest day of my life.

It wasn’t till a few days later when I received an email from my BFF, Chambrey, that I made an incredible connection.

“You realize, don’t you,” Chambrey wrote, “that you were married on my one-year anniversary—August 8th! Can you believe it?”

No, I hadn’t realized it until that very moment, but I was truly amazed. In one year from when I was sitting in that chapel, having my “moment of truth,” my life had changed in so many ways. I was a new person—happier than ever! But in a little over a week I’d be heading back home to my kids, my job, and a mountain of visa paperwork…and that was okay. I was willing to endure whatever was necessary to have my not-so-little, new family together. My life—and heart—were forever changed and this was my new truth!

Stay tuned—there’s more to come!