Seeds, Songs and Social Networking

Love is like a seed—it grows with nourishment and likewise dies with neglect. Or does it? Now, I’m no horticultural expert, but actually I think a seed can go into some form of hibernation as it waits for the right set of circumstances which will allow it to grow—fertile soil, water, sun, handsome Peruvian gardener, white sandy beach, candle-lit dinner…

Wait a minute. Now where exactly was I going with this? Oh yeah—Love is like a seed.

If you’ve read my previous blog, you learned that in 1981, while on a summer foreign exchange program in Peru, a certain young man planted a “seed of love” in the heart of this California girl. And even though I got caught up in my senior year of high school and didn’t respond to his letter (something I’ll forever regret), I never forgot Paco, my handsome Peruvian boyfriend. Any time I thought of my summer abroad, there was always a certain tug at my heart where he left an undeniable impression.

But life goes on…

Paco and I each had many life experiences after our summer together—some great, some not-so-great, but always shaping us into the individuals we are today. We married others, had children (9 total) and subsequently divorced. We both agree that these children from our previous marriages definitely fall into the “great” life experiences category (we’ll leave the “not-so-great” up to your imagination). And while we were busy collecting these life experiences, we occasionally thought of each other.

Paco recalls an instance with a few friends where they where playing a little game of sorts—they’d let the ash of a cigarette fall into their hand and then make a fist. When the hand opened, a letter was revealed, formed from the ash. It was supposed to have some sort of meaning. When Paco opened his hand, the ash had formed the letter “T”. All of his friends said, “T for Torero.” But he replied, “No, T for Tami—my first love.”

After twenty-eight years apart, little did either of us know that our relationship was about to come full circle…and once again we were brought together by Carlos, my Peruvian brother and Paco’s childhood friend (although both times Carlos had no clue of his role as “cupid”). This time, however, modern technology played a huge role—more specifically, social networking, or Facebook. Carlos had moved to the US twenty-five years earlier, so when Paco received a friend request from him, he was thrilled. The first thing he asked Carlos was, “Have you heard from Tami?” Since I’d recently been in touch with Carlos’ parents, he was able to fill Paco in a little on my life.

A week later, I received a friend request from Carlos. Now, as much as I adore my Peruvian brother, I’ll be perfectly honest here—before I even checked out his pictures and information posted on Facebook, I clicked on his “friends” link. I had to know if Paco was one of his Facebook friends. And that was when I saw that familiar, still very handsome face. He was definitely older, but, well, some things just get better with age—Paco is no exception.

I can hardly describe how I felt at that moment—nervous, excited, and anxious all rolled into one. I really wanted to contact him but would he even remember me? It had been twenty-eight years since our last contact. And then there was the letter I never responded to. Maybe he thought I was a total jerk! I decided to sleep on it, but the next day I knew exactly what I wanted to do and sent Paco the friend request. What the heck, right? I mean, what could possibly happen anyway? He still lived a million miles away in Peru!

As Paco tells the story, he saw a friend request from Tamra Norton (my name the previous 24 years ) and thought, Who the heck is Tamra Norton? Just before he was about to hit delete, he decided to check out the picture of this Tamra Norton person. It was a middle-age blond lady, but as he took a closer look, he instantly recognized my eyes. It’s Tami! he thought, and immediately accepted my friend request accompanied by the first of many emails that we exchanged.

What can I say? It didn’t take long at all to fall back in love with Paco. He was, and is, the other half of my heart and soul. I’ve never felt so connected to another human being as I am with him. One of the many connections we share is our love of music. Over the course of our relationship we often send each other music videos or songs on Facebook. Early on, Paco sent me a song by Jose Feliciano called, I Wanna Be Where You Are. The lyrics go something like this:

Can it be I stayed away too long
and did I leave your mind when I was gone?
It’s not my thing trying to get back.
Darlin’ let me tell you where I’m at.

You don’t have to worry ‘cause I’m coming
back to where I always should have stayed.
Now I’ve learned the meaning to your story, Mama,
and there’s enough love for me to stay.

Please don’t close the door to our future.
There’s so many things we haven’t tried.
I will love you better than I used to
and give you all the love I have inside,

I wanna be where you are...

The first time I heard this song, tears filled my eyes. It was a defining moment in our relationship, because it was at that moment I knew Paco was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But he was in Peru, raising his 2 daughters and I lived in Houston, the 4 youngest of my 7 children still at home. How could we bring our two families together? As an American citizen I could go to Peru any time I wanted to—no visa required. But we knew from the beginning that since I couldn’t move my children to Peru because of custody issues with their father, the only solution was for him and his 2 daughters to come here. All they needed to enter our boarders was a visa—simple right? I spent hours on the internet researching visas, trying to figure out how to get them here. This was not going to be easy.

After much discussion on the matter, one evening I received the following email from Paco:

You know how can I get a visa ????? I already know, simple, and charming, if I were in front of you, I will have to be on my knees, and asking you: WILL YOU MARRY ME, MY BEAUTIFUL AND NEVER FORGOTTEN FIRST LOVE OF MY LIFE. Then if you honored me saying yes, we get married and from this time I have to wait a few months and I will get my green card as an American legal resident, and after five years I can apply for American citizenship.

So, let's think about it, so well, I don't want to push you, I want you to be sure, more sure than you've ever been in your whole life, cause I think if we take this step it'll be forever, I want someone that get older with me, that talks to me, that makes me feel happy to get back home after my job, knowing that she is there, with a big smile, waiting for me.

Maybe I'm just a dreamer, but I think that when you love someone, you have to live, for making this special person's life as happy as you can. respect her, take care about her, supporting her in her sad days, understand she is human, and also can make mistakes, I just want to be happy, and make my whole family, that includes you and your kids, no hurting anyone, and being honest with you.

I think I wake up a little philos today, but sometimes ....no....... always...thst's it always..... we have to open our heart and soul and tell all that we keep inside.

Have a nice day Blondie.

So that was it—we were engaged! But we were still a “million” miles apart. The amazing thing about love, however, is that it gives you hope and strength…and that’s exactly what we were going to need for what lay ahead of us.

Stay tuned. There’s so much more to come!